I’m having a fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes. Okay, it’s all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for dinner.
- Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
- Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
- Me: We cool?
- Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
- Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
- Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
- Me: So...can I get out now?
- Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
- Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
- Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.
Add a dab of lavender to milk; leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
everybodys got a water buffalo
stop stop right this instant what do you think youre doing
you cant say everyones got a water buffalo everyone does not have a water buffalo we’re going to get nasty letters saying wheres my water buffalo why dont i have a water buffalo and are you prepared to deal with that i dont think so stop being so silly
Archibald the Asparagus: the original social justice blogger.
(everybody’s got a baby kangaroo)